First, Kimmel lines out the problem of young people leaving
the faith. His take on this is that
parents have been outsourcing faith training for far too long. They have been looking to the experts to lead
their kids to Christ then to disciple them into maturity rather than accepting
their God-given role to do this themselves.
But not only have the parents expected the church to do their job for
them, the church has happily agreed to take on the task and thereby usurped the
parents’ and grandparents’ role in the faith training of their own children.
This information is nothing new in the “family ministry”
circle that I find myself in, but my question quickly became, “Alright - so
what about this GRACE?” And I just had to keep turning the pages. From chapter to chapter on heart connections,
ministry philosophy, the problems people have with grace, an introduction to a basic
grace-based ministry plan, it all finally lined out with this: Grace is simply,
“treating others the way God treats us.”
When we approach the ministry we have to our children (or the ministry
we have to the families in our churches) we must relate to one another in the
same way God relates to us. God the
Father, 1. Meets our innermost needs, 2. Allows us the freedom to be ourselves,
3. Gives us the tools we need to build our character which, 4. Leads us into a
life of true greatness.
There were several well-communicated points about what this
looks like in our relationships but the one that hit me exactly where I needed
to hear it was that God isn’t surprised when we mess up and neither should we
be shocked when our kids do the same. By
modeling the Grace of God,
“Parents
and leaders aren’t surprised that children struggle with lying, passing blame,
responding in an unacceptable way to their siblings, or speaking in an
inappropriate way to their parents. Nor do they take it personally – even if it’s
personally directed at them. They do
their best to catch as many of the kids’ mistakes and graciously deal with them
accordingly. Grace isn’t passive toward
sin. It clearly upholds the moral and
relational guidelines of the Bible and disciplines children when they make
mistakes. But it always does it
graciously without cultivating shame and with the child’s best interest in mind
(p.72).”
Wow. I’ve been
getting better at this, but there was even a time in my life where I took it
personally when my kids made messes in the kitchen! Keeping this grace-based mindset specifically
in my parenting (even in the short time after reading this book) has completely
changed the relationship I have with my kids for better and for life. I praise God for this book and the impact it
has had on our family.
After really hitting the grace point home, Kimmel outlines
the Grace-Based Family Ministry Model he and his team adopted for their home
church. He lines out the “Family Land
Map” and the path in which you and your child travel in your discipleship
journey together. It lines up with
several other models I have seen and this one is nothing short of
excellent. And yet, this is the point in
which I found myself saying, “Hey, wait a minute. I just spent three years of my life doing the
exact same thing for my home church – maybe I should write a book about it too.” But that’s for another day, I guess.
BOTTOM LINE: I highly
recommend this book to parents and church leaders alike. It is a short, easy read that gets to the
heart of a lot of the issues churches and homes are facing today and then lines
out a sample plan of action immersed in the grace of God that is clear and
concise that any family or church could easily adapt to their specific
God-given circumstances.
