Changing the Message

So, today our family visited a friend's church.  A contemporary, very relevant, up and coming congregation that is roughly in our area.  From the first step inside these people have got it together!  We were welcomed and guided around the building.  We knew exactly where to go and what to do for our kids and ourselves.  That was a rare blessing indeed.  We visited with the minister before services, filled out our welcome card, picked up our gift from the welcome center and sat down.

The music was to our liking even if we didn't know any of the songs. The communion service was well done and everything seemed easy to "get into."  Then the sermon began.  Wow.  We heard a very impassioned sermon on making the right choices - specifically the choice to accept Jesus and how by NOT accepting Him we are rejecting Him.  All good, bold and powerful words.  

Then came another passionate plea, "Parents, Parents!"  

Ooo, I'm shifting in my seat! 

"Parents, Please!"  

Is he's gonna do it? He's actually going to do it...

"Parents it is so important that your children believe and serve God." 

Ok, Here it comes!  Is he really going to do it? 

"So get them here!" 

WHAT?!

"Bring them to Sunday School, Bring them to Jr. Worship (or whatever they called it)"

NO - It can't be...

"Sign them up for church camp..."

No. He didn't...

That was just it...he didn't. 

My heart sank into the deep pit that was my stomach.  What? That's your only solution, "Parents, bring your kids to us and we will teach them about Jesus?"  What about telling parents that GOD SAYS it is THEIR JOB to teach their children about Jesus!  Then the parents decide that yes, Sunday School, Jr. Worship, and Church Camp are all GOOD things that will HELP ME, but are certainly not the be-all-and-end-all of my child's faith training.  What a let down.  I must admit that for about three minutes after that I heard nothing. Nothing but my brain starting to worry for these people.  These poor people who have it all together and yet have it all confused.

Parents, Parents, PLEASE! Train your children in righteousness.  Teach them - in your home - about God and his plan of redemption.  SHOW your children - in your home - how to Love Him and to serve Him. And yes, take your children to church, put them in the kids programming and even sign them up for church camp so that what YOU teach them can be reinforced.  Connect with the church to help you do your job, but don't depend on the church to do it for you.

Parents...parents...please...

And, churches...please...please change your message.  The faith of the next generation depends not on how awesome your kids programming is, but on how effectively the parents impress the commands of the Lord on their own children. Empower parents, encourage parents, and equip parents to teach their children at home and you will save not only this generation, but many to come.

Just Do What You're Told! - Proverbs 4

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Proverbs 4


In my house I say, "Don't touch that." They touch.  I say, "Be quiet." They keep yelling. I say, "Be careful with that." They make a mess. I say, "Settle down." They just keep rough-housing. I say, "Please do this." They do that. I say, "Please come here." They go there.
Yes, the frustrations that come with having children are numerous.  The fact that they tend to have selective hearing (sounds so much nicer than to admit your children actually ignore you) is just one of them. Solomon says in vs. 10-13,

"My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths. 

When you walk, you won’t be held back; when you run, you won’t stumble. 

Take hold of my instructions; don’t let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life."

Ah, the promises of a long and good life. Do I promise my children such a thing? Or do they only see me threatening them with a disgruntled, unhappy life if they do not obey?  
There was a time in my life where the goal I had for my children was that they would be obedient.  I was very hard-pressed on them to behave as I wanted them to behave. I wanted them to do what they were told. Then an amazing thing happened.  I was convicted that all I was doing was teaching them how to behave and not teaching them why. At first, the reason I wanted them to behave was so that they looked good, so that I looked good.  Now, I realize I must teach them to obey so that GOD looks good.  

I must teach them to love and serve God not only with their behavior, but with their lives. I must teach my children wisdom's ways and lead them in straight paths.  So when they walk, they won't be held back; when they run, they won't stumble.  And yes, this does looks like obedience but for a different cause - not my cause but for the cause of Christ.

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I pray my children will take hold of my instructions and not let them go.  I must teach them to guard them so that they will have the key to life.  So they know my instructions are worthy of being followed and if they do so then they will have the promises of a good, long life - an ETERNAL LIFE!

Chapter 4 Survival Skills:
Discernment - vs. 6-9
Self Defense - vs. 14-19, 23-27
Offensive Maneuvers 
Training - all of chapter 4 is addressed to the next generation, 1-5, 10-13, 20-22

Decisions

Some time a few months back Justin and I decided that homeschooling our children would be in the best interest not only of our children, but our entire family. But today, today has been a hard one. Today is the day before public school begins. Everyone is running around town trying to cram in either their last day to purchase school supplies, or trying to savor that last summer day before the semester begins. Today, almost everyone in this area has something in common, something to talk about. The feelings of pressure and relief of a new school year starting are commonly shared among the majority of folks you meet. And then because we are some of the few that don't share that in common there are always those assumptions in conversation that have to be responded to. Conversations like:

Person we know: "Hey kiddo, are you ready to go back to school?"

My Child: "We have already started school."

"What?"

"We have already started school."

"Where do you go to school?"

"We homeschool."

"Oh. Why did you start so early" (person looking at me...)

Me: "Why not? It's hot outside, so it's either stare at the television or spend that time during the day learning."

"Didn't you want a summer break?"

"We still get to do all the summer things, but now we can take a longer break when the weather isn't so hot. Maybe we'll get to go to Disney World while your kids are stuck inside taking standardized tests."

OR

Person we know: "Who's class are you going to be in?"

My Child: "I'm in my mom's class"

"I didn't know your mom was a teacher. What grade does she teach?"

"All of them."

"How does she teach all of them?"

"We homeschool."

"Oh...Is she qualified to do that?"

"Well I am in the 2nd grade. I'm pretty sure she finished the 2nd grade."

Or my favorite:

Person in the store: "I bet Mom is ready for the kids to go back to school!"

Me "Not exactly"

"Oh, really? So you will miss your kids when school starts?"

"Not exactly"

"What do you mean?"

"We homeschool."

"Oh, I'm Sorry."

"Sorry for what, that you assumed I was ready to get rid of my kids all day everyday or sorry because you assume I have to spend all day everyday with them because we homeschool?"

"I don't know."

"That's OK. Have fun with those rising rates of premature sexuality among public elementary students."

At least that's how I fantasize how those conversations could go. (DISCLAIMER: These conversations are completely fiction and are not meant to represent any specific conversation I have had with anyone I know, least of all you - the reader.) But seriously. I only joke about it because its actually has been a little rough on me and being sarcastic is my number one defense mechanism. The thoughts really going around my head are ones like, "ARE we making the right decision," and "IS this best for our family?"

A few days ago we received a postcard in the mail from Jones' would-be Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Davis. Mrs. Davis is unlike any other Kindergarten teacher I have ever met. She is amazing. We know this because Jenna was in her class a couple of years ago. I must say that when we received that card I immediately began second guessing our decision. We loved her so much and prior to choosing homeschooling we prayed fervently that Jones would be assigned to her class. Well in a way, our prayer was answered. But at this point the "yes" only raised my doubts. I know God's will rarely looks like you'd expect. I was truly hoping to see that he would have been in anyone else's class. That would have sealed the deal for us. It would have been a sign that "yes," we have made the right decision. I guess that's what I get for not submitting our withdraw letter to the superintendent's office earlier. I'm such a slacker. If I can't even get one little letter sent off then how do I even think that I could homesch....Oh, wait, no I'm not. I've just been too busy spending hours each day actually educating my children rather than worrying about their education. Whew! Thought I was really blowing it there for a minute.

But as I mentioned, that one little "yes" we got a little too late - what does that mean for us now? It means that God is in control. It means that He has laid out His plans for us. And ultimately I think it means He is saying, "Whichever way you would have chosen, I was taking care of you." Thank you, God, for knowing my heart so well. Thank you for providing us with exactly what we needed for deciding what is best for OUR family. I pray that others are so yielded to Your Spirit to receive the resources needed to make decisions that are best for THEIR families.

I recently spoke with a dear friend of mine who has chosen to send her oldest off to Kindergaten this year. I think she's pretty SCARED OUT OF HER MIND. Just from what I can tell...Anyway. As I was going on and on about the decision we made and why we made it and why it was the BEST for us, I also wanted her to realize that they had made the same tough decision we did - they too had to decide what was best for THEIR family. She need not be afraid! She needs to enjoy the ride! (Joshua 1:9) So do you.

What hard decisions are you facing? At what intersection are you standing, asking God to point to you left or right? Know this. If you are living your life for the glory of God, you ARE IN His will. His will is that we live for Him no matter if we turn left or right. He will care for and guide you in whatever decision you make. But you must be yielded to His leading. It is not in our decision making that pleases God, it is in our surrender to Him everyday to carry out that decision for His glory.

The First Fruits of My Desires

In my previous post titled, "Can He - Will He?" I was challenging my own thinking by comparing our family's current situation with that of the Rich Young Ruler that came before Jesus asking what he must do to be saved. If you didn't have an opportunity to read it, please do so before reading further to gain a better perspective of what I am going to share now.

I remember writing,

"We fully accept the “Come follow me”, but are we willing to accept the “Sell everything you have and give to the poor,” portion of the calling? We seem to have skipped right over that part. How much of a commitment will this really take? Are we willing to sacrifice our comforts to become completely dedicated to the call?"

Our primary struggle was whether or not to "sell everything we have" in order to sacrifice the stability of a career to free up time for Justin to focus on study and ministry. With the constant stresses of Justin's job we had become anxious to relinquish the blessings of job security for a lower-stress lifestyle. I might have seemed a bit nervous by this plan, but my main fear in leaving the job, was not the lack of funds, but my own personal lack of self-control and diligence to manage the situation properly (could my free-spirit take on life truly be able to stick to a tight budget?). But nevertheless I was determined to sacrifice our financial safety net before other things that are more important to me. So I then wrote,

"Some would say we would be better off to sacrifice time rather than wealth; to keep the salary, continue in school and have less time for other things. But if all our time is spent with Justin studying and working (both full-time hours) in addition to all our other responsibilities in the church and our family, we are not simply sacrificing time, we are sacrificing relationships. Our marriage will weaken, friends and family will have to be neglected: is that what Jesus has called us to? I don’t believe so! Jesus has called us to make disciples -- to minister to those in our home and in our lives. I would rather my children suffer the pains of hunger than to be starved from love."

Justin began seeking godly counsel in this area. He conversed via email to our church leaders, had a very candid conversation with one of his college professors, we had a heart-to-heart talk with our best friends and co-ministers, and the elders and other men met around Justin to specifically pray for our upcoming decision. Over and over the overwhelming advice we were given was to keep the job. I wanted to scream! The thoughts constantly clouding my mind were, "Why isn't anyone telling us to leave it behind? We are ready to give it up, why are you tempting us to stay?" I was very confused.

We listened to what they said; we shared our hearts. Many times we shared the writing about the Rich Young Ruler. The most convincing argument we heard through all of this was, "Are you WILLING to sell everything you have?" The answer was indeed, "YES." So it was evident to all that are hearts were in the right place as far as our willingness to sacrifice. However, as the overwhelmingly unanimous advice kept rolling in I began to realize that what I was willing to sacrifice might not have been what God was actually asking for.

God asks us for the best of what we have, the firsts of what we have. Time with my husband (over financial stability) could be considered the first-fruits of my desires. It is what I desire FIRST. I covet time with my husband over anything else on this earth. I would rather be able to spend more time with him than with my kids, my girlfriends, my church, my parents, my job, my hobbies, etc. And God, Himself, knows that yes; I struggle with desiring my husband over desiring my Lord (I am, after all, a woman and am thereby subject to the curse of Eve). So I must consider the fact that if I am only willing to sacrifice that which costs my heart very little, I am no better than Cain. I am offering a sub-standard sacrifice hoping to appease God by bringing him only what I choose to let go of. My sacrifice could be not only displeasing to the Lord, but an act of rebellious disobedience.

I am not concerned with our finances. It carries very little weight on my heart. Because of that, I have come to realize that money and things are NOT the sacrifice that God is asking me to make. He wants the best of me. The best thing about me is my relationship with Justin. I am a good mother, because we have a biblical marriage. I am a good friend, because our marriage influences all my other relationships. I am a good church member because I work for and support my husband's calling to ministry. The list goes on.

I know that God is what makes our marriage strong. But, if I truly examine my heart, I may come to realize that, in this circumstance, perhaps it's more as if I placed God there myself; that I am responsible for keeping God as the priority in our relationship - therefore because I was faithful to do this that I am ultimately responsible for the health of our marriage. After looking a little deeper, I might come to say that I have a control issue. I know what our marriage is supposed to look like, so I do the work to make it biblical, loving, supportive, strong and God-filled. But placing God inside my little marriage box isn't the same as giving my marriage box to God. Giving control of my marriage over to God may indeed be the greatest sacrifice I will ever have to make.

So all of this is to say that I was wrong. My heart was misguided by selfish desires. I do believe that in my time of prayer before writing about the Rich Young Ruler, the Holy Spirit prompted me to communicate the things locked so deeply in my heart so that I could gain a fresh perspective on how I had been limiting God's control in my life, specifically in my marriage. I am proud of the message He sent me and how my humble fingers were able to communicate it so passionately. I am certain that in specific contexts it will be a thought that I will reference and use to encourage others. However, I am most grateful for the godly counsel we received from those we love and trust and how the messages the Holy Spirit shared through them shaped my thinking to reveal the real heart of the issue.

I am revived and excited about this new adventure we are embarking on. We have indeed been blessed by the gift of financial stability the Lord has offered to us. Justin will remain employed with fewer hours (meaning less, but still more than substantial pay) while maintaining his full-time benefits and retaining all his vacation days! What an overwhelmingly compassionate answer to my awkward and selfish request. I have faith in myself and my husband, to let God take care of that which I hold dearest, which I now place in the all capable hands of the Creator. I no longer wish to be limited by my own means, but choose to rely solely on the power and care of the almighty Father. I look forward to the miracle that only HE can perform in our marriage. Let the glory be to Him alone.

"Can He -- Will He -- Become a Disciple?"

The Rich Young Ruler

Rich: More than enough wealth to sustain life

Young: Between the ages of 25-45

Ruler: Corporate Management, Church Leadership, Community Status, etc.

This description hits pretty close to home right now. In this description, I see my husband. A young man with a wife, two kids, dog, two cars, two houses, significant investments and responsibilities, established career, leadership roles in the church, status in the community, etc. Now, I am not comparing him to the actual man described in the scriptures, but I am saying that the man’s “title” could easily suit Justin and our family situation as a whole. And since my husband (of course with 100% support from me and our families) recently decided to return to Ozark Christian College as a full-time student, we are definitely feeling the call of Jesus to “come follow me.” So, what does that look like today? In a time of prayer this particular passage of the Gospels came to mind and I began making the comparisons. These likenesses sent me searching out more about this story. I found an excellent lesson on this passage from Dr. Ralf F. Wilson and a majority of the following is excerpted from his writings (emphasis mine). As I continue to think and meditate on this passage, I still wonder what awesome truths are in store for us.

“The story of the rich young ruler exposes a raw nerve in us that causes a reaction. But disposing of wealth was not all that Jesus asked the man to do. "When Jesus heard this, he said to him, 'You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.' " (18:22) … The word "follow" is the characteristic word of discipleship, Greek akoloutheo, "' follow,' figuratively, to follow someone as a disciple, 'be a disciple, follow.' "[12] However, I don't think that the following Jesus invites this man to do is just figurative. Jesus looked at this man and loved him (Mark 10:21). I think he is inviting the rich young man to join him on his journeys, to become one of the disciples who enjoy the immense and unspeakable privilege of spending time with Jesus and learning from him on a day-by-day basis. What a wonderful invitation! But the invitation implicit to us is no less wonderful. We, too, are invited to come to Jesus, and then to follow him on a spiritual life journey. To enjoy his company, his presence. To be taught along the way by his Word and Spirit. To become part of his great extended family, the Body of Christ throughout the world. And to be filled with hope in the closing days of our journey as we know his promises and feel his comfort with us. "Come, follow me," is the invitation Jesus extends to you and me.”

We fully accept the “Come follow me”, but are we willing to accept the “Sell everything you have and give to the poor,” portion of the calling? We seem to have skipped right over that part. How much of a commitment will this really take? Are we willing to sacrifice our comforts to become completely dedicated to the call?

“The young man has kept all the commandments, but still senses a lack, an incompleteness, or else he wouldn't have come to Jesus in the first place. Now Jesus speaks to the young man's point of need:

"When Jesus heard this, he said to him, 'You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.' " (18:22)

“If the man does this, Jesus assures him, he will have treasure in heaven. "Treasure" is Greek thesauros, "that which is stored up, 'treasure.' "[10] It is an ironic exchange that Jesus proposes -- exchanging fabulous wealth here on earth for fabulous wealth in the Kingdom of God… Recently, Jesus has taught his disciples about the importance of faithfulness with regard to money: "No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money" (Luke 16:13). Now his disciples have an object lesson to learn from -- an actual rich man, fabulously wealthy. Can he -- will he -- become a disciple?”

We fully understand that accepting the call to follow Jesus requires sacrifice. But what sacrifice, and to what extent? Can we -- will we -- resign our salary & benefits? Can we -- will we -- sell our things, our car, our house? Some would say we would be better off to sacrifice time rather than wealth; to keep the salary, continue in school and have less time for other things. But if all our time is spent with Justin studying and working (both full-time hours) in addition to all our other responsibilities in the church and our family, we are not simply sacrificing time, we are sacrificing relationships. Our marriage will weaken, friends and family will have to be neglected: is that what Jesus has called us to? I don’t believe so! Jesus has called us to make disciples -- to minister to those in our home and in our lives. I would rather my children suffer the pains of hunger than to be starved from love.

Another part of the calling is to be generous. If we maintain all our worldly responsibilities while attempting to respond to Christ’s invitation to follow him, we also have nothing to give. We will have to grasp with all our might to each and every thing: school, work, church, family; each one in danger of become its own stronghold on our family. There will be little to nothing left to be generous with. But if indeed we do eliminate the stresses of career and maintaining the extra comforts in life (by “selling everything we have”), we may find we have an abundance of love, faith and encouragement to distribute to those in need simply because we refused to sacrifice what we thought we could do without, over what Christ has specifically asked us to give to Him.

“… Jesus' words don't just upset the rich young ruler. They also upset us… But why are we even worried with the question? Do we, too, feel possessive of what we have? Do we fear that Jesus may require us to do something that would cost us too much? What are we afraid of? And why do we fear? We fear because we sense that we are not fully surrendered, that's why.”

All of this comes about because Justin and I will indeed need to make that life-changing decision as to what exactly it looks like to give everything it takes to follow Him. And we have so many options. The most difficult and emotionally weighing decisions we have to make are whether or not the opportunities presented to us are a result of God’s leading or a vice perpetuating a stronghold in our lives. I so appreciated the prayer that Dr. Wilson offered at the end of his lesson. My heart echoes it here:

“Dear Father, Jesus' words have a way of piercing our hearts and defenses we have built up against you and doing things your way. Make us tender-hearted. Gently expose the reservations of our hearts, as you did for that wealthy young man those many centuries ago. But give us grace to be able to obey you, the Great Physician, who alone can heal our corrupt and deceitful hearts, and make us whole. Forgive us, O Lord, for clinging to the remnants of a life independent of you, and make us wholly yours. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.”

See Dr. Wilson’s complete lesson text at: http://www.jesuswalk.com/lessons/18_18-23.htm

We covet the prayers of our family and friends for us in this time in our lives.
Pray that in all things we might bring glory to God. -AB

Ponderings at Age 29 (That Still Remain True Today)

I truly feel as though I have recently reached a turning point in my life of only 29 years. I have been somewhat consumed as of late with heavenly things. Things I have yet to understand, but already believe to be true. Things about God.

My soul has been stirring inside of me for about a year now and in the more recent months has actually been painfully boiling. I say that only to mean that the questions I had and the answers I knew were right there just kept rolling over and over one another building up this immense pressure of hopes and longing to the point where the little kettle that is my life was screaming. All the things I knew about Love and Life and Purpose were at my fingertips, yet I wasn't able to grasp them or make any sense of them at all. The steam built up and up and up until I wanted was to shout "Tip Me Over and Pour Me Out!"

"What a profound thought," I told myself as I settled back to earth from this emotional awakening. I then proceeded into the following thought process:
"What? There is nothing profound about The Little Tea Pot! You are not one of those over-stressed pre-school moms who reads any children's book she can get her hands on (probably within reach of the driver's seat while speeding down the highway with her screaming two-year-old half-strapped into her car seat) in search of spiritual insight that could possibly be worth sharing in her last-minute-mom's-club-devo she had forgotten to prepare even though she was the one who signed her name on the blank line just last month. Now the only thing she's got is a cheesy devotion about a Little Tea Pot. Agh, why hadn't she just signed up to bring the tea?"

But then I thought, "OK, maybe there's something to this." Could this sudden outburst of juvenile poetry really be worth looking into? So I gave it a shot:

"I'm a Little Tea Pot, Short and Stout."

Hmmm. Well, since I do in fact reside at a personal altitude of only 5' 3" and my dress size does in fact carry and ID with a number greater than one digit. I would have to say th

at this is true. And the Holy Spirit was so gracious to point it out to me in such delicate terms. But never mind that - that's a personal issue - what else?

"Here is my handle, here is my Spout
When I get all steamed up, hear me Shout,
Tip me over and pour me out."

“No! I can't do this. It's too cliché!”

But who was I to question the Holy Spirit? I was soon resolved to say that I was not going to let one little nursery rhyme deter me from seeing a divine truth! This boiling inside of me was so strong. When I finally found words to express it, shouldn't I assume that those words came from God, Himself?

And really, it's the entire concept of the Little Tea Pot, not the verse itself that carries the real expression of what I need to say. Jesus has been that thing stirring inside of me. The desire to know him is what has me boiling inside. But how did I even get here? Why am I reaching this boiling point now? I think it's because He lit a fire under my butt!
And then He sat there...
and sat there...
and sat there.

I wondered why He sat there. Then I realized that "His eye is on the Sparrow, and I know He watches me," and we also know that according to my grandmother, "a watched pot never boils." so...
How long had He been waiting? How long has this fire been burning? Since I was baptized at the age of 9? Had He been anxiously waiting for me for the next 20 years? Yes! Because no matter how true it might seem to us that a watched pot never boils, how true indeed, is that it surely will!

So here I am with my pants on fire, and all these questions are rolling over and around all the answers I know are there. They are all just in there colliding, yet rolling away from each other and everything seems so cloudy and the friction builds. I have more questions, more illusive answers, and more building, and steam until I can't take it anymore and I begin to whistle incessantly!

No, really. I whistle constantly. I come by it naturally I guess. My father's mother was known for her bird-like song among all the people who lived near to her beloved Ozark Mountain hallow. I was not aware of this until after her passing, but I love to imagine her walking the country roads, whistling the old hymns she loved so dearly, as she stopped to pick up pretty rocks for her garden, or to keep to pass on to me whenever I came to visit. I do in fact remember that as our entire family gathered under the old oak tree to sing those reverend hymns in praise to our blessed creator that her singing soon turned to whistling in beautiful harmony with the voices of her kinfolk. I miss her. But, as you can see, my writing echoes my whistling in that I tend to warble and ramble off course to no rhyme or reason, but I truly know that both give me great strength and comfort on this journey of life.

I began to think about the whistling tea pot. When the tea kettle is boiling and eventually builds up enough steam to shoot it out of the whistle; what do you do when the pot starts screaming? You stop what you are doing, get up, and turn down the heat. Because you, Lord, know that when the water of life inside this stout little vessel is HOT it will no longer remain lukewarm. This is my life, you have purified it with your fire and it is now full of living water that is ready to be used. And here I am screaming it to you, "I AM READY!"

And I will keep screaming (and whistling) until you, Lord, quietly get up from your comfy chair, restfully lay down your daily reading of "Chicken Soup from the Lamb's Book of Life", take off your grandfatherly reading glasses and say with a contented sigh..."She's Ready."

And in your own gentle timing you will remove me from this burning fire, tip my world over. And as you pour out all that you find from this HOT Little Pot into the lives of others...
Filter me with your Word,
Flavor me with your Goodness,
Sweeten me with your Grace & Joy,
And make my aroma Holy and Pleasing to the Lord.
I am ready. Hear me Shout.