What's IN and What's OUT?

I have been commissioned (along with my Worship Ministry Team) to review the current song bank at our church and make additions and subtractions as needed to fit our current culture of worship. Our task is to come up with 100-150 songs that we consider to be "our songs (thank you, Ed Stetzer)." These would be songs that the members of our congregation can identify themselves with individually and as unified church body.

But it's not just about picking the songs we "like." We have been challenged and convicted to examine each song and be able to communicate WHY we chose to have this particular song make the YES LIST.

Upon initial review I found that our song bank has approximately 250 songs in it as of now. And honestly, I was hard pressed to find more than 50 songs I would personally include in a song set (based mostly on my own preferences). There were also a handful of new pieces we've been working on but have not done with the church yet and another handful of songs I am not opposed to, but wouldn't personally choose to include in my worship sets. I soon realized that WE HAVE A TON OF WORK TO DO!!


So where do you begin?


Here are 5 guidelines for why a song should REMAIN in the set...

1. It communicates a truth from SCRIPTURE (Nehemiah 8:1-6)

2. The lyrics come directly from SCRIPTURE (Col. 3:16, Eph. 5:18-19)

3. It gives GLORY TO GOD for either WHO He is or WHAT He has done (Psalm 145)

4. It is TIMELESS and caries a weight of emotional and spiritual significance ACROSS GENERATIONS (Joshua 4:19-24)

5. It is NEW - to be sung for now, but maybe not forever (Psalm 149)


But it's not just about KEEPING songs. Some songs just need to GO and for good reason! So...


Here are 5 guidelines for why a song should be ELIMINATED...

1. It is a nice song ABOUT God things which are NOT THEOLOGICALLY SOUND (This one is tricky. All churches are different and it depends on individual interpretation - but think, "Does this song match up to what MY CHURCH believes about this idea/topic?" - Don't know?  Get a copy of your church's statement of believes, or ask a pastor or elder if it lines up with what they would teach the congregation.)

2. It’s a love song. If God is not specifically mentioned or if you can easily exchange God or Lord for “Baby or Girl," - it's not deep enough (Hebrews 13:15)

3. It Glorifies ME and WHO I AM instead of GOD and WHO HE IS or it glorifies what I GET OUT of God instead of what GOD HAS DONE for me – it has to be MORE about GOD and LESS about ME. (John 3:30)

4. It’s OLD - and no longer relevant – aka NOT TIMELESS (Mark 7:1-13)

5. It is UNCOMFORTABLE to sing either because it's too difficult or it's in a style that doesn't suit your congregation. (1 Corinthians 14:33a)


I will be putting these guidelines into practice first by selecting my personal TOP 10 LIST of songs our church already uses - that is quite the task!  Blessings to my team who are attempting to do the same.  I hope you find these ideas helpful in your endeavor.

Just What I've Been Missing

CONNECTING CHURCH & HOME by Dr. Tim Kimmel is just what I have been missing.  The book outlines a, “grace-based partnership” between the church and home to win and keep the next generation of believers for Christ.  The best thing about this book is how it hooks you to keep reading by leaking out these bits and pieces about “grace.”  I know what grace is and what that means for my salvation, but what does it have to do with my ministry and how will it transform the relationship I have with my children?  I was left wanting to read more and more.

First, Kimmel lines out the problem of young people leaving the faith.  His take on this is that parents have been outsourcing faith training for far too long.  They have been looking to the experts to lead their kids to Christ then to disciple them into maturity rather than accepting their God-given role to do this themselves.  But not only have the parents expected the church to do their job for them, the church has happily agreed to take on the task and thereby usurped the parents’ and grandparents’ role in the faith training of their own children.

This information is nothing new in the “family ministry” circle that I find myself in, but my question quickly became, “Alright - so what about this GRACE?” And I just had to keep turning the pages.  From chapter to chapter on heart connections, ministry philosophy, the problems people have with grace, an introduction to a basic grace-based ministry plan, it all finally lined out with this: Grace is simply, “treating others the way God treats us.”  When we approach the ministry we have to our children (or the ministry we have to the families in our churches) we must relate to one another in the same way God relates to us.  God the Father, 1. Meets our innermost needs, 2. Allows us the freedom to be ourselves, 3. Gives us the tools we need to build our character which, 4. Leads us into a life of true greatness.

There were several well-communicated points about what this looks like in our relationships but the one that hit me exactly where I needed to hear it was that God isn’t surprised when we mess up and neither should we be shocked when our kids do the same.  By modeling the Grace of God,

“Parents and leaders aren’t surprised that children struggle with lying, passing blame, responding in an unacceptable way to their siblings, or speaking in an inappropriate way to their parents. Nor do they take it personally – even if it’s personally directed at them.  They do their best to catch as many of the kids’ mistakes and graciously deal with them accordingly.  Grace isn’t passive toward sin.  It clearly upholds the moral and relational guidelines of the Bible and disciplines children when they make mistakes.  But it always does it graciously without cultivating shame and with the child’s best interest in mind (p.72).”

Wow.  I’ve been getting better at this, but there was even a time in my life where I took it personally when my kids made messes in the kitchen!  Keeping this grace-based mindset specifically in my parenting (even in the short time after reading this book) has completely changed the relationship I have with my kids for better and for life.  I praise God for this book and the impact it has had on our family.

After really hitting the grace point home, Kimmel outlines the Grace-Based Family Ministry Model he and his team adopted for their home church.  He lines out the “Family Land Map” and the path in which you and your child travel in your discipleship journey together.  It lines up with several other models I have seen and this one is nothing short of excellent.  And yet, this is the point in which I found myself saying, “Hey, wait a minute.  I just spent three years of my life doing the exact same thing for my home church – maybe I should write a book about it too.”  But that’s for another day, I guess. 

BOTTOM LINE:  I highly recommend this book to parents and church leaders alike.  It is a short, easy read that gets to the heart of a lot of the issues churches and homes are facing today and then lines out a sample plan of action immersed in the grace of God that is clear and concise that any family or church could easily adapt to their specific God-given circumstances. 

Changing the Message

So, today our family visited a friend's church.  A contemporary, very relevant, up and coming congregation that is roughly in our area.  From the first step inside these people have got it together!  We were welcomed and guided around the building.  We knew exactly where to go and what to do for our kids and ourselves.  That was a rare blessing indeed.  We visited with the minister before services, filled out our welcome card, picked up our gift from the welcome center and sat down.

The music was to our liking even if we didn't know any of the songs. The communion service was well done and everything seemed easy to "get into."  Then the sermon began.  Wow.  We heard a very impassioned sermon on making the right choices - specifically the choice to accept Jesus and how by NOT accepting Him we are rejecting Him.  All good, bold and powerful words.  

Then came another passionate plea, "Parents, Parents!"  

Ooo, I'm shifting in my seat! 

"Parents, Please!"  

Is he's gonna do it? He's actually going to do it...

"Parents it is so important that your children believe and serve God." 

Ok, Here it comes!  Is he really going to do it? 

"So get them here!" 

WHAT?!

"Bring them to Sunday School, Bring them to Jr. Worship (or whatever they called it)"

NO - It can't be...

"Sign them up for church camp..."

No. He didn't...

That was just it...he didn't. 

My heart sank into the deep pit that was my stomach.  What? That's your only solution, "Parents, bring your kids to us and we will teach them about Jesus?"  What about telling parents that GOD SAYS it is THEIR JOB to teach their children about Jesus!  Then the parents decide that yes, Sunday School, Jr. Worship, and Church Camp are all GOOD things that will HELP ME, but are certainly not the be-all-and-end-all of my child's faith training.  What a let down.  I must admit that for about three minutes after that I heard nothing. Nothing but my brain starting to worry for these people.  These poor people who have it all together and yet have it all confused.

Parents, Parents, PLEASE! Train your children in righteousness.  Teach them - in your home - about God and his plan of redemption.  SHOW your children - in your home - how to Love Him and to serve Him. And yes, take your children to church, put them in the kids programming and even sign them up for church camp so that what YOU teach them can be reinforced.  Connect with the church to help you do your job, but don't depend on the church to do it for you.

Parents...parents...please...

And, churches...please...please change your message.  The faith of the next generation depends not on how awesome your kids programming is, but on how effectively the parents impress the commands of the Lord on their own children. Empower parents, encourage parents, and equip parents to teach their children at home and you will save not only this generation, but many to come.

Hope for the Hopeless

I had the immense privilege of traveling with a group of about 20 people into Joplin, MO yesterday. For anyone who is unaware of the significance of this privilege - let me fill you in. On Sunday, May 22nd an EF5 tornado leveled approximately 30% of the city of Joplin, MO - destroying over 8,000 structures (primarily homes as well as one of the major hospitals, several schools, businesses and churches). It is reported as the SINGLE DEADLIEST tornado in US history (since the records started in 1950) with 122 confirmed dead and hundreds of people still unaccounted for.

After the magnitude of that sinks in - let me share with you about the few hours that yes, I was privileged to spend in this city. We had a diverse group of about 20 people gather at our church building in Lamar, MO around 9am, yesterday, May 24th. Our primary purpose was to organize, prepare and serve a free lunch to 1500 people. Just a note here on God's timing: our church was prepared to offer this service at the drop of a hat because on the night of the tornado our small community was merely "rained-out" of an event where we were prepared to serve 1500 people. Little did we know that our seemingly over abundance of hamburgers, hot dogs, chips and the works would be so desperately needed only 40miles away - and would be no where near enough to meet the need.

We assembled, loaded, and left. We were working in conjunction with a church located on the North end of Joplin only 4 miles from what has been deemed "The War Zone." Our team showed up, took over, whipped everything into shape and was prepared for the crowd at least one hour earlier than the news had reported we would be. So we waited. And waited. No one came.

How naive we had been. OF COURSE they didn't come. They COULDN'T come. The masses of people in need of a free hot lunch were knee deep in mud, debris, and the mere splinters left of their existence.

So we sent pick-up load after pick-up load of 3-5 man teams into the wreckage. Drivers were using side streets to get around blockades, driving over downed power lines, through flooded streets, and across miles of devastation. Team members were riding in the back of trucks and vans barking out, "Hot Food!, Hamburgers, Hot Dogs!," to attempt to draw people out of their storm shattered homes to receive an ounce of love and compassion in the form of lunch. Stories were shared, blessings were given, and back they went - into the dark, wet dungeons searching for anything of worth or meaning - all while more storms were approaching.

We heard stories of how people survived in their homes, we met one man who was on the roof of his home when he witnessed the mile-wide, multi-vortex, terror take out St. John's Hospital. He ran down his ladder and took cover. We served him a couple of hot dogs - after he came back down off his roof. Among those we served were volunteer police officers, utility workers, friends & family of victims who were tirelessly working on clearing trees, debris, and even vehicles from their loved one's homes. We met a faithful postman out delivering mail to any mailbox he could find, whether under a car or tree, or to the front step of a pile of rubble. As we stopped and talked with him he told us that the streets we were standing on were indeed the worst on his route. As I again looked around, it was dumbfounding to see the sights we were witnessing. Even a national news anchor who's career began in Joplin, MO said in a local television interview that outside of Baghdad, Iraq he had not seen such devastation.

It took my team about 2hrs to hand out all the food we had been designated to distribute. We were handing out from the back of the truck and walking on foot where vehicles couldn't travel. Over and over again the responses were "No, We're OK." Directly followed by a "Thank you so much!" after they took us up on the offer. One of my personal favorites was an older gentleman, covered in dirt and insulation who said, "I'm fine, but the kids might want some." Then when his wife and grandkids came out of the rubble and were grabbing this and that behind me I heard, "Now that's a piece of heaven!" from this same gentleman who turned out to be the first of his family to unwrap and bite into a hamburger. Even after all that loss. Each one we met was so willing to sacrifice for the next completely negligent of their own personal need. Thankfully, we had more than enough for that family and even Grandpa was able to taste that "piece of heaven" in the midst of what frankly has to be Hell for that family.

We heard the constant sound of chainsaws, dragging branches, utility trucks, and voices of family members saying, "Here, take this," or "No, leave that." The unmistakable smells of mold and mildew had already polluted the air after less than 48hrs of exposure to the rain & humidity. We noticed people slaving away for what seemed to the onlooker to be lost causes and on the other hand we saw people just sitting on what used to be their front porches with empty expressions, not knowing what to do next.

It was absolutely obvious that the difference in the two scenes was hope. I pray that the hope we were able to offer - albeit simply a hot dog and a hug - might have sparked their appetite for a grander hope: the hope that is found in Christ alone. And for me to share the hope of Christ is the ultimate privilege. God be with Joplin, MO.

"Can He -- Will He -- Become a Disciple?"

The Rich Young Ruler

Rich: More than enough wealth to sustain life

Young: Between the ages of 25-45

Ruler: Corporate Management, Church Leadership, Community Status, etc.

This description hits pretty close to home right now. In this description, I see my husband. A young man with a wife, two kids, dog, two cars, two houses, significant investments and responsibilities, established career, leadership roles in the church, status in the community, etc. Now, I am not comparing him to the actual man described in the scriptures, but I am saying that the man’s “title” could easily suit Justin and our family situation as a whole. And since my husband (of course with 100% support from me and our families) recently decided to return to Ozark Christian College as a full-time student, we are definitely feeling the call of Jesus to “come follow me.” So, what does that look like today? In a time of prayer this particular passage of the Gospels came to mind and I began making the comparisons. These likenesses sent me searching out more about this story. I found an excellent lesson on this passage from Dr. Ralf F. Wilson and a majority of the following is excerpted from his writings (emphasis mine). As I continue to think and meditate on this passage, I still wonder what awesome truths are in store for us.

“The story of the rich young ruler exposes a raw nerve in us that causes a reaction. But disposing of wealth was not all that Jesus asked the man to do. "When Jesus heard this, he said to him, 'You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.' " (18:22) … The word "follow" is the characteristic word of discipleship, Greek akoloutheo, "' follow,' figuratively, to follow someone as a disciple, 'be a disciple, follow.' "[12] However, I don't think that the following Jesus invites this man to do is just figurative. Jesus looked at this man and loved him (Mark 10:21). I think he is inviting the rich young man to join him on his journeys, to become one of the disciples who enjoy the immense and unspeakable privilege of spending time with Jesus and learning from him on a day-by-day basis. What a wonderful invitation! But the invitation implicit to us is no less wonderful. We, too, are invited to come to Jesus, and then to follow him on a spiritual life journey. To enjoy his company, his presence. To be taught along the way by his Word and Spirit. To become part of his great extended family, the Body of Christ throughout the world. And to be filled with hope in the closing days of our journey as we know his promises and feel his comfort with us. "Come, follow me," is the invitation Jesus extends to you and me.”

We fully accept the “Come follow me”, but are we willing to accept the “Sell everything you have and give to the poor,” portion of the calling? We seem to have skipped right over that part. How much of a commitment will this really take? Are we willing to sacrifice our comforts to become completely dedicated to the call?

“The young man has kept all the commandments, but still senses a lack, an incompleteness, or else he wouldn't have come to Jesus in the first place. Now Jesus speaks to the young man's point of need:

"When Jesus heard this, he said to him, 'You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.' " (18:22)

“If the man does this, Jesus assures him, he will have treasure in heaven. "Treasure" is Greek thesauros, "that which is stored up, 'treasure.' "[10] It is an ironic exchange that Jesus proposes -- exchanging fabulous wealth here on earth for fabulous wealth in the Kingdom of God… Recently, Jesus has taught his disciples about the importance of faithfulness with regard to money: "No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money" (Luke 16:13). Now his disciples have an object lesson to learn from -- an actual rich man, fabulously wealthy. Can he -- will he -- become a disciple?”

We fully understand that accepting the call to follow Jesus requires sacrifice. But what sacrifice, and to what extent? Can we -- will we -- resign our salary & benefits? Can we -- will we -- sell our things, our car, our house? Some would say we would be better off to sacrifice time rather than wealth; to keep the salary, continue in school and have less time for other things. But if all our time is spent with Justin studying and working (both full-time hours) in addition to all our other responsibilities in the church and our family, we are not simply sacrificing time, we are sacrificing relationships. Our marriage will weaken, friends and family will have to be neglected: is that what Jesus has called us to? I don’t believe so! Jesus has called us to make disciples -- to minister to those in our home and in our lives. I would rather my children suffer the pains of hunger than to be starved from love.

Another part of the calling is to be generous. If we maintain all our worldly responsibilities while attempting to respond to Christ’s invitation to follow him, we also have nothing to give. We will have to grasp with all our might to each and every thing: school, work, church, family; each one in danger of become its own stronghold on our family. There will be little to nothing left to be generous with. But if indeed we do eliminate the stresses of career and maintaining the extra comforts in life (by “selling everything we have”), we may find we have an abundance of love, faith and encouragement to distribute to those in need simply because we refused to sacrifice what we thought we could do without, over what Christ has specifically asked us to give to Him.

“… Jesus' words don't just upset the rich young ruler. They also upset us… But why are we even worried with the question? Do we, too, feel possessive of what we have? Do we fear that Jesus may require us to do something that would cost us too much? What are we afraid of? And why do we fear? We fear because we sense that we are not fully surrendered, that's why.”

All of this comes about because Justin and I will indeed need to make that life-changing decision as to what exactly it looks like to give everything it takes to follow Him. And we have so many options. The most difficult and emotionally weighing decisions we have to make are whether or not the opportunities presented to us are a result of God’s leading or a vice perpetuating a stronghold in our lives. I so appreciated the prayer that Dr. Wilson offered at the end of his lesson. My heart echoes it here:

“Dear Father, Jesus' words have a way of piercing our hearts and defenses we have built up against you and doing things your way. Make us tender-hearted. Gently expose the reservations of our hearts, as you did for that wealthy young man those many centuries ago. But give us grace to be able to obey you, the Great Physician, who alone can heal our corrupt and deceitful hearts, and make us whole. Forgive us, O Lord, for clinging to the remnants of a life independent of you, and make us wholly yours. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.”

See Dr. Wilson’s complete lesson text at: http://www.jesuswalk.com/lessons/18_18-23.htm

We covet the prayers of our family and friends for us in this time in our lives.
Pray that in all things we might bring glory to God. -AB