Lessons for Daily Life Indeed! - Proverbs 6

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Proverbs 6


Life Lessons from Chapter 6:
1. Free yourself from other people's debt
2. Don't be lazy - Work Hard!
3. Know what wickedness looks like.
4. Obey your parents and follow their instructions.
5. Don't be stupid - Keep it in your toga.


All of these seem pretty straight forward except maybe for number three. What does wickedness look like?  We must be able to discern that which we must avoid if we intend to survive on this quest.  Because we all know - wickedness can look just as appetizing (or even more so) than righteousness.  So let's look at vs. 12-19:

What are worthless and wicked people like?

They are constant liars, signaling their deceit with a wink of the eye, a nudge of the foot, or the wiggle of fingers. Their perverted hearts plot evil, and they constantly stir up trouble. But they will be destroyed suddenly, broken in an instant beyond all hope of healing.

There are six things the Lord hates - no, seven things he detests:

haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies,

a person who sows discord in a family.

First off (spoiler alert: rant ahead) - lying makes you a worthless, wicked person so CUT IT OUT.  No one likes to be lied to and if you are a liar I bet you HATE it when people lie to you, so just STOP IT. And if you can't (because you have told so many that you don't even know the truth anymore) BE CAREFUL what you say and CHOOSE to make it right when you do lie.  Make telling the truth your new habit and things will go a lot better for you and everyone around you.  Believe me, making the effort will not go unnoticed. Avoid the inevitable, instantaneous destruction that will break you beyond all hope of healing (v.15). TELL THE TRUTH.

Whew...Now that that's over...

Solomon also outlines the following thing that the Lord detests - which of these do you need to clean out of your life?  Believe me - I'm asking the same question of myself as I am typing this.

Haughty Eyes - Are you proud, do you judge with your eyes? Do you disrespect others with your expression?

A Lying Tongue - Well, I've already addressed this one...

Hands that Kill the Innocent - Murder/Neglect to Defend

Heart that Plots Evil - Do you wish for the demise of others?  Are you constantly scheming to get what you want?  Are you...Manipulative?

Feet that Race to do Wrong - Do you have a rebellious heart?  Do you struggle with submitting to authority?  Are you always on the look out for revenge?

False Witness Who Pours Out Lies - This is slightly different than a lying tongue.  I believe this means gossiping.  A gossip is a false witness because either they are not a first hand witness or they distort the information to make themselves look good (or someone else to look bad). Rumors - do you tell or even LISTEN to rumors?

Person Who Sows Discord in a Family - WOW. You mean God detests it when a wife disrespects her husband, or when a husband is not loving toward his wife?  He actually detests it when relationships between parent and child are wounded and never reconciled?  YES. Yes He does.  Families, after all, are the building blocks of His kingdom.  Set aside your pride.  Admit you have been wrong and seek forgiveness from your family.

Again, these are hard words.  No one likes to be told they are a sinner - don't we know it already?  But this is where we have to pull through the thorns and briars of our mistakes into the neatly manicured paths of righteousness.  Yes, each stick and thorn is painful to remove - but we must rid our lives of wickedness to be free from the devil's grasp.

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Lord, Thank you.  Thank you for showing us what wickedness looks like.  Help us to avoid it at all costs.  Thank you for giving us the remedy for our own selfishness - the blood of Jesus.  Thank you for still seeing me as precious even when my actions are detestable to you. You amaze me. Help me to be more like you.

AB


Chapter 6 Survival Skills:
Discernment - vs. 6-19
Self Defense - vs. 1-5
Offensive Maneuvers - 25-35
Training - all of chapter 6 is addressed to the next generation, 20-24

Prison of Me - Proverbs 5

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Proverbs 5

"For the Lord sees clearly what a man does, examining every path he takes. An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness." vs. 21-23

These are hard words.  Each of us knows we are a sinner.  Each of us knows we are the worst of sinners.  How long will I be held captive by my own selfishness?  Will I die from lack of self-control?  What a statement.  

We see this happen time and time again.  Death from addiction, death from poor decisions, even suicide could be considered a lack of self-control. What harsh truth lies in these few verses.

A few years ago I was in a deep place because I felt that everything around me was becoming out of MY control until the Spirit suddenly snapped me back screaming, "It's not about you!"  I became angry with myself for allowing all the hurt others were feeling to turn my heart toward selfishness rather than compassion.  Yes, I had lost all control - all my self-control.  And then I realized I was trapped.  My selfishness was holding me captive, my self-pity had become the ropes that caught and held me.  Then I wrote these lyrics:

PRISON OF ME

My mind becomes a lonely place

When I’m the only one consuming my own grace

I only see myself, forgetting my own face

I dwell on that and nothing else but this solitary place

     So what? What if? If only…

     These are the bars that cage me

     It’s them, not me. No really!

     These are the chains that enslave me

I know I can’t run, I know I can’t hide

Secluded in exile with me, myself, and I

So here I am, restless and desperate and ready to scream!

Trapped in this prison of me.

Trapped inside my mind;

Decide the world is blind

I’m isolated, jilted and jaded

     Why me? Why now? Who sees me?

     These are the poisons that plague me.

     Who cares? Who’s there? Oh tell me,

     How can I ever be free?  

I know I can’t run, I know I can’t hide

Secluded in exile with me, myself, and I

So here I am, restless and desperate and ready to scream!

Trapped in this prison of me.

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Lord, I know I must continually ask for your forgiveness because I continually sin. Please increase my wisdom. Please increase my self-control.  Please free me from myself and save me...Oh, wait...you've already done that.  Praise be the Name of Jesus. Amen.


Chapter 5 Survival Skills:
Discernment - vs. 2
Self Defense - vs. 3-6, 8-14
Offensive Maneuvers - 15-23
Training - all of chapter 5 is addressed to the next generation, 5 & 7

Just Do What You're Told! - Proverbs 4

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Proverbs 4


In my house I say, "Don't touch that." They touch.  I say, "Be quiet." They keep yelling. I say, "Be careful with that." They make a mess. I say, "Settle down." They just keep rough-housing. I say, "Please do this." They do that. I say, "Please come here." They go there.
Yes, the frustrations that come with having children are numerous.  The fact that they tend to have selective hearing (sounds so much nicer than to admit your children actually ignore you) is just one of them. Solomon says in vs. 10-13,

"My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths. 

When you walk, you won’t be held back; when you run, you won’t stumble. 

Take hold of my instructions; don’t let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life."

Ah, the promises of a long and good life. Do I promise my children such a thing? Or do they only see me threatening them with a disgruntled, unhappy life if they do not obey?  
There was a time in my life where the goal I had for my children was that they would be obedient.  I was very hard-pressed on them to behave as I wanted them to behave. I wanted them to do what they were told. Then an amazing thing happened.  I was convicted that all I was doing was teaching them how to behave and not teaching them why. At first, the reason I wanted them to behave was so that they looked good, so that I looked good.  Now, I realize I must teach them to obey so that GOD looks good.  

I must teach them to love and serve God not only with their behavior, but with their lives. I must teach my children wisdom's ways and lead them in straight paths.  So when they walk, they won't be held back; when they run, they won't stumble.  And yes, this does looks like obedience but for a different cause - not my cause but for the cause of Christ.

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I pray my children will take hold of my instructions and not let them go.  I must teach them to guard them so that they will have the key to life.  So they know my instructions are worthy of being followed and if they do so then they will have the promises of a good, long life - an ETERNAL LIFE!

Chapter 4 Survival Skills:
Discernment - vs. 6-9
Self Defense - vs. 14-19, 23-27
Offensive Maneuvers 
Training - all of chapter 4 is addressed to the next generation, 1-5, 10-13, 20-22

Common Sense - Proverbs 3

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Proverbs 3


My child, my child.  Over and over again we read plea after plea for the next generation to heed this wisdom.  In chapter three alone there is verse upon verse of these profound statements - each made to encourage a child into righteousness.  Basic instructions such as, "Never let loyalty and kindness leave you...Don't be impressed with your own wisdom...Honor the Lord with your wealth, and Do not withhold good from those who deserve it," are woven throughout this chapter.

Here is one for your consideration: vs. 21-26

"My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul.They are like jewels on a necklace.

They keep you safe on your way, and your feet will not stumble.

You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly.

You need not be afraid of sudden disaster or the destruction 

that comes upon the wicked, for the Lord is your security. 

He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap."

Why do they call it common sense?  Is it really all that common?  Wouldn't a better word for it be valuable sense?  Isn't that what you don't want to loose sight of, your valuables?  Common questions like, "Can you watch my bag?"  or, "Can you keep an eye on my kids?" imply that you value what is there and do not want it to wonder off or to become lost.  So, Solomon must have truly valued common sense to plead with his child to not lose sight of it, so much so he compared it and discernment to, "jewels on a necklace." 

I think Solomon is warning us that with common sense and like so many other valuable things - we must protect it.  Why else do we lock up our assets in safety deposit boxes or purchase insurance for our vehicles, homes and even ourselves?  We are protecting them.  To protect them is...common sense, right?

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So how do we use this valuable common sense God gave us?  Well, this passage tells us that we need not fear if we have it.  It will help keep us safe and secure as will the Lord.  It astounds me that something so simple as common sense carries such weight.  Wouldn't you think that you'd need weapons, or wealth, or even storehouses of wisdom to feel safe and secure?  But if you really think about it - using the plain 'ol common sense God gave you can help you can indeed keep you out of a whole heap of trouble - from, "your foot being caught in a trap!"

Here is one more piece of "valuable sense" that we find in today's chapter,"My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights."

Now I do think it takes a lot more than common sense to uphold this very hard instruction.  But consider this, If we are to train the next generation into wisdom, we aught to consider how the Lord deals with us.  We are not free form discipline and correction and neither should our children be.  Our relationship with our children is a pre-cursor to their own relationship with God.  If they do not accept discipline and correction from us, they will surely reject it from the Lord.  Love your children, teach them, train them in righteousness, and yes discipline them according to God's standards - this in turn will ultimately cultivate in them...common sense.


Chapter 3 Survival Skills:
Discernment - vs. 13-20
Self Defense - vs. 3-8, 21-26
Offensive Maneuvers - vs. 9-12, 27-35
Training - vs. 1, 11 & 21 addresses the entire chapter to the next generation, vs. 11-12

SIGN ME UP! - Proverbs 2

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Proverbs 2

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If we indeed are on a exploration for wisdom, to be truly successful we must know why we have chosen this quest.  To go about anything you do without some purpose or understanding of the value of that thing - is it really even worth doing in the first place?  So to avoid the quicksand of doubt and lack of ambition, we find in this chapter the benefits to why we are on this quest - why we choose to seek out God's wisdom.


Here's a break down of the benefits:
1. Understand what it means to fear the Lord
2. Gain the knowledge of God
3. Wisdom & Understanding is from the Lord
4. You will understand what is right, just, and fair
5. Wisdom and Knowledge bring you joy and safety
6. Protection from evil and darkness
7. Salvation from immorality and temptation
8. You will remain in the presence of the Lord

SIGN ME UP!  I desire nothing more on this journey of physical existence than to know the Lord my God and what it is to revere Him.  I am truly humbled to know that He would choose to grant me His knowledge and wisdom to know what is right, to bring my joy, to save me from evil and temptation, so that I may remain in His presence.  But yet, how foolish of me to think that He has given all this to ME.  He grants these wonders to me so that He may be glorified THROUGH me.  He expects me not only to use these gifts myself, but to show others how to do the same. Solomon addresses these instructions to his child.  Lord, encourage and empower me to ask for Your wisdom and to also share it with my children. Hoarding the resources He's given me might be a way to survive, but is surely no way to LIVE!  


Chapter 2 Survival Skills:
Discernment - vs. 2-11
Self Defense - vs. 12-19
Offensive Maneuvers - vs. 20-22
Training - vs. 1 addresses the entire chapter to the next generation

An Exploration; A Quest - Proverbs 1

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PROVERBS 1


WOW! How have I never noticed that the first section of Proverbs is an actual explanation of the purpose of this book? I can already tell this will be an eye-opening experience for me. 

Vs. 1-5 (emphasis mine)

"Their purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline,
to help them understand the insights of the wise.

Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives,to help them do what is right, just, and fair.

These proverbs will give insight to the simple,
knowledge and discernment to the young. 

Let the wise listen to these proverbs and become even wiser.
Let those with understanding receive guidance

by exploring the meaning in these proverbs and parables,the words of the wise and their riddles."

Sounds like everyone can benefit from these words.  Insight to the simple? Wouldn't that be a blessing to all of humanity?!  Knowledge and discernment to the young?  Wouldn't that change the course of history through a single generation?! And HOW do we do this: By, "exploring the meaning," of these passages.  That means we must do more than read them.  We must examine them as we journey with them; we must take them on a quest.  The kind of quest that is full of life-changing adventure. 


Along the way we will learn survival skills such as identifying the healing nature of wisdom from the poisonous fruit of foolishness.  We will know how to dodge the firey darts of temptation and how when struck, to acquire the antidote of humility which counteracts the venom of wickedness. We will learn to battle the beast of selfishness with the unfailing weapons of righteousness and truth.  And most importantly, we will learn the skills needed to train the next generation to complete their own quest with strength, dignity, and VICTORY!


Now that sounds like an adventure.

My Beautiful Day

A sweet breeze is blowing, the sun is peeking out from behind a few clouds.  The irises in my garden are starting to bloom.  Soon they will be in their full glory lining every inch of my back fence. My family loves me so very much and even more than that they attempt to prove it to me everyday.  This is going to be a great day. It's my birthday.

Decisions

Some time a few months back Justin and I decided that homeschooling our children would be in the best interest not only of our children, but our entire family. But today, today has been a hard one. Today is the day before public school begins. Everyone is running around town trying to cram in either their last day to purchase school supplies, or trying to savor that last summer day before the semester begins. Today, almost everyone in this area has something in common, something to talk about. The feelings of pressure and relief of a new school year starting are commonly shared among the majority of folks you meet. And then because we are some of the few that don't share that in common there are always those assumptions in conversation that have to be responded to. Conversations like:

Person we know: "Hey kiddo, are you ready to go back to school?"

My Child: "We have already started school."

"What?"

"We have already started school."

"Where do you go to school?"

"We homeschool."

"Oh. Why did you start so early" (person looking at me...)

Me: "Why not? It's hot outside, so it's either stare at the television or spend that time during the day learning."

"Didn't you want a summer break?"

"We still get to do all the summer things, but now we can take a longer break when the weather isn't so hot. Maybe we'll get to go to Disney World while your kids are stuck inside taking standardized tests."

OR

Person we know: "Who's class are you going to be in?"

My Child: "I'm in my mom's class"

"I didn't know your mom was a teacher. What grade does she teach?"

"All of them."

"How does she teach all of them?"

"We homeschool."

"Oh...Is she qualified to do that?"

"Well I am in the 2nd grade. I'm pretty sure she finished the 2nd grade."

Or my favorite:

Person in the store: "I bet Mom is ready for the kids to go back to school!"

Me "Not exactly"

"Oh, really? So you will miss your kids when school starts?"

"Not exactly"

"What do you mean?"

"We homeschool."

"Oh, I'm Sorry."

"Sorry for what, that you assumed I was ready to get rid of my kids all day everyday or sorry because you assume I have to spend all day everyday with them because we homeschool?"

"I don't know."

"That's OK. Have fun with those rising rates of premature sexuality among public elementary students."

At least that's how I fantasize how those conversations could go. (DISCLAIMER: These conversations are completely fiction and are not meant to represent any specific conversation I have had with anyone I know, least of all you - the reader.) But seriously. I only joke about it because its actually has been a little rough on me and being sarcastic is my number one defense mechanism. The thoughts really going around my head are ones like, "ARE we making the right decision," and "IS this best for our family?"

A few days ago we received a postcard in the mail from Jones' would-be Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Davis. Mrs. Davis is unlike any other Kindergarten teacher I have ever met. She is amazing. We know this because Jenna was in her class a couple of years ago. I must say that when we received that card I immediately began second guessing our decision. We loved her so much and prior to choosing homeschooling we prayed fervently that Jones would be assigned to her class. Well in a way, our prayer was answered. But at this point the "yes" only raised my doubts. I know God's will rarely looks like you'd expect. I was truly hoping to see that he would have been in anyone else's class. That would have sealed the deal for us. It would have been a sign that "yes," we have made the right decision. I guess that's what I get for not submitting our withdraw letter to the superintendent's office earlier. I'm such a slacker. If I can't even get one little letter sent off then how do I even think that I could homesch....Oh, wait, no I'm not. I've just been too busy spending hours each day actually educating my children rather than worrying about their education. Whew! Thought I was really blowing it there for a minute.

But as I mentioned, that one little "yes" we got a little too late - what does that mean for us now? It means that God is in control. It means that He has laid out His plans for us. And ultimately I think it means He is saying, "Whichever way you would have chosen, I was taking care of you." Thank you, God, for knowing my heart so well. Thank you for providing us with exactly what we needed for deciding what is best for OUR family. I pray that others are so yielded to Your Spirit to receive the resources needed to make decisions that are best for THEIR families.

I recently spoke with a dear friend of mine who has chosen to send her oldest off to Kindergaten this year. I think she's pretty SCARED OUT OF HER MIND. Just from what I can tell...Anyway. As I was going on and on about the decision we made and why we made it and why it was the BEST for us, I also wanted her to realize that they had made the same tough decision we did - they too had to decide what was best for THEIR family. She need not be afraid! She needs to enjoy the ride! (Joshua 1:9) So do you.

What hard decisions are you facing? At what intersection are you standing, asking God to point to you left or right? Know this. If you are living your life for the glory of God, you ARE IN His will. His will is that we live for Him no matter if we turn left or right. He will care for and guide you in whatever decision you make. But you must be yielded to His leading. It is not in our decision making that pleases God, it is in our surrender to Him everyday to carry out that decision for His glory.

Starting Out

Starting out. Making changes, altering the familiar. It reminds me of the line, "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." That is one of my favorite lyrics of all time.

Starting out. Adjusting your surroundings, Learning new things. So what is this new beginning, what will be the beginning's end?

Starting out. Embarking on a journey, laboring for something better. A new career, a new love, a new life, a new you. All of which come from the end of some old beginning.

Starting out. Do we not live in a constant state of starting something? We start breathing oxygen for the first time at birth, we will start to cease needing oxygen for the first time at death. We start our days, then we start to fall asleep. We start to feel hungry, then we start to feel full. We start to feel lonely, so we start searching for our soul mate.

Starting out. Why do we feel it's hard to start something new? Aren't we constantly changing hour by hour and minute by minute from the time we are brought into this world until the time the Good Lord takes us home? Why do we fear starting out? Why do we fear change? Isn't starting out just a constant part of life?

Starting out. What if we never started anything? Life would cease to exist. And not just physical life - the life we experience, the life that gives us joy would cease to exist. Had I not started to love, my family would cease to exist. Had I not started to think of what could be, my hope would cease to exist. Had I not started to believe, my faith would cease to exist. Had I not started to share my love, my thoughts, and my faith, my joy would cease to exist.

Starting out. What are we afraid of? Tell me. What are you afraid of?

Hope for the Hopeless

I had the immense privilege of traveling with a group of about 20 people into Joplin, MO yesterday. For anyone who is unaware of the significance of this privilege - let me fill you in. On Sunday, May 22nd an EF5 tornado leveled approximately 30% of the city of Joplin, MO - destroying over 8,000 structures (primarily homes as well as one of the major hospitals, several schools, businesses and churches). It is reported as the SINGLE DEADLIEST tornado in US history (since the records started in 1950) with 122 confirmed dead and hundreds of people still unaccounted for.

After the magnitude of that sinks in - let me share with you about the few hours that yes, I was privileged to spend in this city. We had a diverse group of about 20 people gather at our church building in Lamar, MO around 9am, yesterday, May 24th. Our primary purpose was to organize, prepare and serve a free lunch to 1500 people. Just a note here on God's timing: our church was prepared to offer this service at the drop of a hat because on the night of the tornado our small community was merely "rained-out" of an event where we were prepared to serve 1500 people. Little did we know that our seemingly over abundance of hamburgers, hot dogs, chips and the works would be so desperately needed only 40miles away - and would be no where near enough to meet the need.

We assembled, loaded, and left. We were working in conjunction with a church located on the North end of Joplin only 4 miles from what has been deemed "The War Zone." Our team showed up, took over, whipped everything into shape and was prepared for the crowd at least one hour earlier than the news had reported we would be. So we waited. And waited. No one came.

How naive we had been. OF COURSE they didn't come. They COULDN'T come. The masses of people in need of a free hot lunch were knee deep in mud, debris, and the mere splinters left of their existence.

So we sent pick-up load after pick-up load of 3-5 man teams into the wreckage. Drivers were using side streets to get around blockades, driving over downed power lines, through flooded streets, and across miles of devastation. Team members were riding in the back of trucks and vans barking out, "Hot Food!, Hamburgers, Hot Dogs!," to attempt to draw people out of their storm shattered homes to receive an ounce of love and compassion in the form of lunch. Stories were shared, blessings were given, and back they went - into the dark, wet dungeons searching for anything of worth or meaning - all while more storms were approaching.

We heard stories of how people survived in their homes, we met one man who was on the roof of his home when he witnessed the mile-wide, multi-vortex, terror take out St. John's Hospital. He ran down his ladder and took cover. We served him a couple of hot dogs - after he came back down off his roof. Among those we served were volunteer police officers, utility workers, friends & family of victims who were tirelessly working on clearing trees, debris, and even vehicles from their loved one's homes. We met a faithful postman out delivering mail to any mailbox he could find, whether under a car or tree, or to the front step of a pile of rubble. As we stopped and talked with him he told us that the streets we were standing on were indeed the worst on his route. As I again looked around, it was dumbfounding to see the sights we were witnessing. Even a national news anchor who's career began in Joplin, MO said in a local television interview that outside of Baghdad, Iraq he had not seen such devastation.

It took my team about 2hrs to hand out all the food we had been designated to distribute. We were handing out from the back of the truck and walking on foot where vehicles couldn't travel. Over and over again the responses were "No, We're OK." Directly followed by a "Thank you so much!" after they took us up on the offer. One of my personal favorites was an older gentleman, covered in dirt and insulation who said, "I'm fine, but the kids might want some." Then when his wife and grandkids came out of the rubble and were grabbing this and that behind me I heard, "Now that's a piece of heaven!" from this same gentleman who turned out to be the first of his family to unwrap and bite into a hamburger. Even after all that loss. Each one we met was so willing to sacrifice for the next completely negligent of their own personal need. Thankfully, we had more than enough for that family and even Grandpa was able to taste that "piece of heaven" in the midst of what frankly has to be Hell for that family.

We heard the constant sound of chainsaws, dragging branches, utility trucks, and voices of family members saying, "Here, take this," or "No, leave that." The unmistakable smells of mold and mildew had already polluted the air after less than 48hrs of exposure to the rain & humidity. We noticed people slaving away for what seemed to the onlooker to be lost causes and on the other hand we saw people just sitting on what used to be their front porches with empty expressions, not knowing what to do next.

It was absolutely obvious that the difference in the two scenes was hope. I pray that the hope we were able to offer - albeit simply a hot dog and a hug - might have sparked their appetite for a grander hope: the hope that is found in Christ alone. And for me to share the hope of Christ is the ultimate privilege. God be with Joplin, MO.

Your Dwelling Place

What do we know

Of your dwelling place,

Where one day we'll experience

The fullness of grace?

Rivers and mansions,

Creatures and priests,

Where we'll never hunger,

Yet continually feast?

We'll feast on your presence,

Have our fill of Your glory

Drink in Your goodness,

So goes the story...

Reuniting the faithful,

In glorious worship,

To the One and Only Son,

The only One Who's worth it.

What do we know

Of Your dwelling place,

Where one day You'll make us

Worthy to look upon Your face?

We'll enter Your presence,

Once and forever,

Never to be separated:

Eternally together.

To abide in You,

To be engulfed in Your light,

Calling us home,

To Your wonder and might,

Glory and praise,

Healing and grace

Nothing but YOU:

YOU are Your dwelling place.

The First Fruits of My Desires

In my previous post titled, "Can He - Will He?" I was challenging my own thinking by comparing our family's current situation with that of the Rich Young Ruler that came before Jesus asking what he must do to be saved. If you didn't have an opportunity to read it, please do so before reading further to gain a better perspective of what I am going to share now.

I remember writing,

"We fully accept the “Come follow me”, but are we willing to accept the “Sell everything you have and give to the poor,” portion of the calling? We seem to have skipped right over that part. How much of a commitment will this really take? Are we willing to sacrifice our comforts to become completely dedicated to the call?"

Our primary struggle was whether or not to "sell everything we have" in order to sacrifice the stability of a career to free up time for Justin to focus on study and ministry. With the constant stresses of Justin's job we had become anxious to relinquish the blessings of job security for a lower-stress lifestyle. I might have seemed a bit nervous by this plan, but my main fear in leaving the job, was not the lack of funds, but my own personal lack of self-control and diligence to manage the situation properly (could my free-spirit take on life truly be able to stick to a tight budget?). But nevertheless I was determined to sacrifice our financial safety net before other things that are more important to me. So I then wrote,

"Some would say we would be better off to sacrifice time rather than wealth; to keep the salary, continue in school and have less time for other things. But if all our time is spent with Justin studying and working (both full-time hours) in addition to all our other responsibilities in the church and our family, we are not simply sacrificing time, we are sacrificing relationships. Our marriage will weaken, friends and family will have to be neglected: is that what Jesus has called us to? I don’t believe so! Jesus has called us to make disciples -- to minister to those in our home and in our lives. I would rather my children suffer the pains of hunger than to be starved from love."

Justin began seeking godly counsel in this area. He conversed via email to our church leaders, had a very candid conversation with one of his college professors, we had a heart-to-heart talk with our best friends and co-ministers, and the elders and other men met around Justin to specifically pray for our upcoming decision. Over and over the overwhelming advice we were given was to keep the job. I wanted to scream! The thoughts constantly clouding my mind were, "Why isn't anyone telling us to leave it behind? We are ready to give it up, why are you tempting us to stay?" I was very confused.

We listened to what they said; we shared our hearts. Many times we shared the writing about the Rich Young Ruler. The most convincing argument we heard through all of this was, "Are you WILLING to sell everything you have?" The answer was indeed, "YES." So it was evident to all that are hearts were in the right place as far as our willingness to sacrifice. However, as the overwhelmingly unanimous advice kept rolling in I began to realize that what I was willing to sacrifice might not have been what God was actually asking for.

God asks us for the best of what we have, the firsts of what we have. Time with my husband (over financial stability) could be considered the first-fruits of my desires. It is what I desire FIRST. I covet time with my husband over anything else on this earth. I would rather be able to spend more time with him than with my kids, my girlfriends, my church, my parents, my job, my hobbies, etc. And God, Himself, knows that yes; I struggle with desiring my husband over desiring my Lord (I am, after all, a woman and am thereby subject to the curse of Eve). So I must consider the fact that if I am only willing to sacrifice that which costs my heart very little, I am no better than Cain. I am offering a sub-standard sacrifice hoping to appease God by bringing him only what I choose to let go of. My sacrifice could be not only displeasing to the Lord, but an act of rebellious disobedience.

I am not concerned with our finances. It carries very little weight on my heart. Because of that, I have come to realize that money and things are NOT the sacrifice that God is asking me to make. He wants the best of me. The best thing about me is my relationship with Justin. I am a good mother, because we have a biblical marriage. I am a good friend, because our marriage influences all my other relationships. I am a good church member because I work for and support my husband's calling to ministry. The list goes on.

I know that God is what makes our marriage strong. But, if I truly examine my heart, I may come to realize that, in this circumstance, perhaps it's more as if I placed God there myself; that I am responsible for keeping God as the priority in our relationship - therefore because I was faithful to do this that I am ultimately responsible for the health of our marriage. After looking a little deeper, I might come to say that I have a control issue. I know what our marriage is supposed to look like, so I do the work to make it biblical, loving, supportive, strong and God-filled. But placing God inside my little marriage box isn't the same as giving my marriage box to God. Giving control of my marriage over to God may indeed be the greatest sacrifice I will ever have to make.

So all of this is to say that I was wrong. My heart was misguided by selfish desires. I do believe that in my time of prayer before writing about the Rich Young Ruler, the Holy Spirit prompted me to communicate the things locked so deeply in my heart so that I could gain a fresh perspective on how I had been limiting God's control in my life, specifically in my marriage. I am proud of the message He sent me and how my humble fingers were able to communicate it so passionately. I am certain that in specific contexts it will be a thought that I will reference and use to encourage others. However, I am most grateful for the godly counsel we received from those we love and trust and how the messages the Holy Spirit shared through them shaped my thinking to reveal the real heart of the issue.

I am revived and excited about this new adventure we are embarking on. We have indeed been blessed by the gift of financial stability the Lord has offered to us. Justin will remain employed with fewer hours (meaning less, but still more than substantial pay) while maintaining his full-time benefits and retaining all his vacation days! What an overwhelmingly compassionate answer to my awkward and selfish request. I have faith in myself and my husband, to let God take care of that which I hold dearest, which I now place in the all capable hands of the Creator. I no longer wish to be limited by my own means, but choose to rely solely on the power and care of the almighty Father. I look forward to the miracle that only HE can perform in our marriage. Let the glory be to Him alone.