I digress. OK Seriously here it is....
One day, God sent us away from our home "to the land that he would show us" - a full time church ministry position. From the first phone call to the final agreement, we knew this was not a perfect match OTHER than God was clearly telling us to go. Leaving was so very hard - even if I didn't show it. But honestly, {and the part I am so afraid of saying is...} STAYING is what became so much harder.
No one likes a quitter. But one day the honeymoon period was over. "These people don't want us here. Why did we ever come here? What have we done? We left HOME for THIS? These people asked us to come here, they hunted us down and offered us a home and they don't even want to hear what we have to say. Why would we stay? Can't we just go home?"
The answer was clearly, NO. We made a commitment. We are good at commitment. We decided to dig in and spread roots for three (3) years. So, if that's the case - let's build a giant playhouse!!
I mean, seriously - who would build a giant playhouse in their back yard just to up and leave it for the next people? NO. You build the giant play house because you want your kids to remember how AWESOME it was and how much you all LOVED IT. Yes. We can DO this! We began to build the ginormous playhouse....and within the week....the phone rang.
"Hi. Have you ever thought about planting a church? You have been suggested to us by a number of people and we'd like you to consider planting a church."
I can't make this stuff up. Less than 2 days (ish) after we firmly committed against the felt odds to STAY, we get a phone call asking us to LEAVE. If you ever have wondered where irony comes from, look no further than the Maker of heaven and earth - He has it in spades.
"Yes, actually we have considered it in the past, but we just got where we are and we think we need to stay."
"OK. Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to keep in contact with you. If you were interested at one time, maybe you will be again, we'd love to work with you."
"Um, OK. I guess."
<<fast forwarding through our life>>
Things are great! This sucks. We love these people! They don't even like us. It so nice to be needed! Why do these people ignore us? Oh, I think this is working! Why don't they trust us? We see things majorly improving! Why did we put so much effort into that?
Are we wasting our time?
How long is this going to take?
What are we doing wrong?
Should we just leave?
But we see so much value in what we are doing!
The back and forth was agony. So much hope, so much disappointment. So much progress, so little change. We seemed to have so little traction and we just kept slipping (and the phone kept ringing).
Through all the up and down, the church planters still wanted us. And maybe, just maybe, we could do it right if we had a clean slate. We finally agreed to attend a Church Planters Assessment
Church planting is hard. If a church planting organization is going to "hire" you to plant a church they want to make darn sure you've got what it takes. Make a resume, answer these questions, fill out these online psychological surveys, and THEN, come spend a WEEK with other potential church planters in which we will intensively interview you in all areas personal, financial, pastoral, historical, marital, spiritual, emotional, and professional. And make you wrap it all up really neatly in a skit to be performed in front of a live audience (I'm not kidding - the skit was a real thing).
It was possibly the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Talk about being brave. And you know what they wanted? Stories. Tell me about a time when... If you can't answer, you go home. There comes a point when you are so worn down from all the questioning (and then they make you go bowling as a group when all you want to do is go to sleep - geesh) and wondering if your answers are what they want to hear at the same time as not caring a stitch what they think because they are the ones who asked US to do this - we didn't go looking for them, they came searching for us. You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit. But, in reality - who wants to mess this up? Someone wants us? We could have a reason to LEAVE? Is God telling us to LEAVE? What about all the ground we are gaining back home (I mean where we live, No - I mean HOME)? Shouldn't we just STAY?
You get used to answering. Sometimes you thought, "I feel like my initial reaction is to make up something based on a hazy memory I've had and that's not what you're asking. I could find something, but it's not an aha moment." {Chantel Cherney, Slack Direct Message Conversation} But the answers (and questions) just kept coming. Most of the time I could come up with SOMETHING - and they were pretty good about leading you right into where they wanted you to be so it was easy for you to clearly answer. But THIS question? I had never really even considered this event as something to be like, "HELL YEAH!" Until my guard was completely worn down and there the answer was. And this one? I knew.
Sure. Let me tell you about the time in ministry when I knew, "This is what I was made for."
And I answered, and they heard me.
And they understood me.
And they wanted me.
THIS was the answer they were looking for.
When the evaluation was over it felt as if this ONE answer is what told them I was also MADE for THIS: Church Planting.
Yes. We passed the assessment. We had what it takes physically, spiritually, emotionally, professionally, and the one area that would kill it all - the strength of your marriage - we passed it all with flying colors. We were told in the final review, "Not only do we think you COULD plant a church, we think you SHOULD plant a church. Would you PLEASE plant a church?"
We actually left that assessment and headed straight for an interview for a fully-funded church plant. We were offered the job. We said no. We came home, our new home, we loved our people, we let them love us. We kept teaching - and a few of them started listening. We kept planning and setting the bar high and eventually people started showing up. Eventually we earned their trust. We set our roots and let them run deep. And we have the playhouse to prove it.
But THAT ONE question? That one time when I knew, "This is what I was made for?" I get to do it here, everyday. By God's grace, mercy, peace, provision, and genuine love - each and every day. But the answer to that question? Well. That's a totally different story.
